Hello, everyone.



I'm damn bored now. I spent most of the day reading manga. And now there's no manga left to be read. I'm helping my dad with his shop now since mom went to Malaysia this morning. She went there with my aunts and grandma. She brought grandma for treatment too.



Actually I really want to come with her. But I have to help my dad. Since my aunts are with her, I should have nothing to worry about. I'm kinda sad. 11 days left until the day I must go back to Jakarta. Univ starts on 8th September. *sigh* Mom will be back on Saturday. When she's back, 5days left. I know dad's staying home but it's not complete without mom.



Last night, I started to think how far my family will be from me. Call me a cry baby, I don't give a damn. Since I do sad when I have to leave them. Won't you feel the same when you're so far away from the person you love the most? It same goes with our family. *sigh*



In Jakarta, I will stay in my grandma house. There're also my aunt, my cousin and the maids. I stay in a room which located on the top floor. And it's me who the only one stay on that floor.



My grandma's room located on the ground floor, since her legs are killing her when she climb the stairs. So she seldom go to the upstairs. My aunt is busy with her work since Monday to Friday and will be back home at night, sometimes she goes back early too. And my cousin, he is 1 year older than me and he's also in an univ. There're 3 maids for housekeeping.



My campus is pretty far from the house. If you stuck in the traffic, it needs at least 1 hour to get there. It will take a lifetime if the traffic is at its worst. If you didn't get into the traffic, it only needs 15-30 minutes depending which way you choose. Which also mean, you have to get up early. There's a driver who can send and pick me wherever I go so I don't have to worry about transportation.

The facilities living there of course are much more better than renting a room or an apartment, living by yourself. If you do, you have to find something to eat by yourself, go to a campus by foot, go everywhere you want using public vehicle, etc.

BUT~

I have NO freedom.

Dad didn't let me stay by myself. Which mean, I HAVE to stay in that house. I understand his concern. I'm a girl and the elder daughter in my family.

I went there 2 weeks ago for like 10 days to prepare everything for my univ. On the day time, I won't be at that house. I went to the campus, handle several things, hanging out with my friends, meeting my boyfriend. But when I come back, I started to feel lonely. Moreover, since that place is not my own home, I have to act more like a "human". I hope you get what I mean.

Yes there's a driver who can send me wherever I want to go, but there's also a time limit. I musn't go out until night time. Okay I don't ask to let me out until midnight. But please at least the deadline is 9pm. Or 8pm and I will thank you on my knees. I also feel guilty because I borrow the driver and the car from my aunt. *sigh* Since Jakarta is the capital city, the city sure is big and sometimes the location you want to go is TOO far away. You have to imagine how much money to spend for the car's fuel. Ohh and one more, I musn't often go out except univ.

When I'm in that house, I'm spending almost the whole time in my room. I only go out when I need something or there're something. Sometimes I eat my meal alone too. Everyone are busy with themselves.

Grandma always watches some Taiwanese dorama in her room. And I also don't think I have topics to talk with my grandma. Same goes to my aunt. It's not like I never have conversation with them before. But I just feel I can't be myself and have no topics. Ohh don't forget my cousin. Since he's a boy and his hobby is playing online games. I'm not a gamer, seriously.

On the weekend, my aunt usually goes to the mall or everywhere. But sometimes she stays at home too. I know I can go out with her but I prefer with my friends and my boyfriend.
...

I would rather stay by myself. If I feel lonely, there's still friends who live in the same building. Usually, they will be a university student too. Like my other friends. Most of them are staying by themselves and some are staying in the same place. When you got nothing to do in weekend, you can hang out with them or your campus friends. When you feel bored in your room, you can go to others' room to play. Or invite your friends (or lover, lolz) over. You can play all night long. It's pretty risky too since criminal is everywhere. But it's fun, right?

I know I will be pretty busy when my univ starts. But when I get back, I'm lonely.

I'm also worry about my family. Sometimes dad and mom have a fight because they have different point of views. And I'm the only one who always stop them. I know when I left, there're still my sister and brother. But my sister, you can say, maybe she hasn't understand life completely. I also haven't. As for my brother, he's still little. He's just 6 years old.

*sigh*

I don't want to go, honestly. But... I have to.